February Pose of The Month
Love and compassion are two, very strong positive feelings that truly make the world a better place. I think most of us would agree that the world needs more of both right now too.
When we feel love towards someone, or are at the receiving end of love, it makes us feel whole. It connects us to strong positive feelings like warmth, caring, and happiness. The more of this love we feel, the more whole we feel, and that wholeness may bring about the urge to want to share those feelings with others. Furthermore, when our love shows up in the form of compassion to someone who may need our help… well that is what makes it even more powerful, beautiful, magical.
What is even more significant and powerful than our love for others is our relationship with ourselves. How do we love ourselves and continue to extend that love in the form of compassion when we are suffering and need help? All too often we’re more focused on ensuring others feel loved, perhaps finding someone or something to bring us more love, helping others and showing compassion to those less fortunate than us, and yet maybe doing all of this without even noticing or paying mind to our own needs. We’re also much harder on ourselves when we fail or fall short of meeting our (or someone else’s) expectations, and at times allow ourselves to suffer even more than we already are for it by not giving ourselves the love and compassion we need.
How can we open our hearts more to ourselves and extend more self-compassion?
In Sutra 1.33 of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjai, Patanjali introduces the Four Immeasurable Virtues. He says that these virtues are the keys to a happy and peaceful life. I also see these keys as ways we can open our hearts more to others and ourselves, how to keep the emotional weather of hearts calm and healthy, to extend lovingkindness always in every relationship.
These four keys are maitrī-friendliness, karuṇā-compassion, muditā-delight, and upekṣānām-disregard. In this sutra, Patanjali also refers to four ‘locks’ or types of people we encounter in life. These locks are sukha (happy people), dukha (unhappy people), punya (virtuous people), and apunya (wicked people). Patanjali says that when we keep the ‘keys’ close to us at all times we will be prepared to open the ‘locks’ when needed. At every moment we all fall into one of these “locks”. Right now I can be feeling really happy and at ease- sukha, then something can happen to me later today that can put me into a dukha (unhappy) state.
Patanjali goes on to advise that when we encounter someone who is happy to use the friendliness key in our thoughts and/or interactions with them. Let our hearts be filled with happiness for those that are happy, even if they are more well-off or fortunate than us. Don’t let ones peace be disrupted by jealousy and hate. Don’t let ones heart become cold and clouded by dark thoughts and feelings.
When we find ourselves around someone who is unhappy, we should open our hearts even more to that person- extend compassion. Same goes for ourselves when we find ourselves unhappy, extend compassion to ourselves. Identify the source of unhappiness or when dealing with others’ ask the person what they need, lend a helping hand, share what you can to help them even if it’s not enough to fix their burdens completely. Do what you can and if you can’t help yourself, ask for help.
For the virtuous people, we can use the ‘delight key’. Celebrate their righteousness wholeheartedly. Instead of envying them, use their goodness and the great qualities they possess as a model for your own actions and behaviors. These are our role models.
The most difficult people that we will encounter and may find the hardest to extend lovingkindness are the wicked. Here Patanjali advises us to use the ‘disregard key’. He says our attitude towards these people should be indifference. To some regard, we extend some compassion toward them as well, as we might be able to identify with or relate to their position if we’ve been in a similar one before. We may have even been wicked ourselves recently. Patanjali warns against trying to advise wicked people because they seldom take advice, and the effort we put into trying to do so may end up disrupting our own peace. Thus making it harder for us to extend any degree of lovingkindness to them. So we let them be, not showing any interest in them or entertaining their wickedness. We keep our peace and we send them peace and a wish to be well and happy, to find their way out of the darkness.
We ourselves will fall into these categories, or locks, at times and maybe even more than one in the same day. So we should not only use these keys on others, but also ourselves to extend more self-love and self-compassion. Even if we find ourselves holding the ‘wicked lock’… recognize it, own it, and face that darkness with love and compassion to figure out how to overcome the feelings and free ourselves from the dark thoughts. We don’t have to allow them to take over our heart and turn into negative action(s).
“Self-compassion is not merely a state of being or quality; it’s a practice, and we learn it through experience. During asana, pranayama, meditation, and other yoga practices, we learn to observe and befriend the body and mind—developing self-awareness and discernment. Over time, we discover when we need to be firm, and when we need to surrender.”
~ Kathleen Bryant
When practiced mindfully and intentionally, yoga can be a great place to explore and cultivate self compassion. You can start practicing by focusing on what thoughts and intentions you’re bringing to your yoga mat even before you start your practice. Shake off and let go of any negativity or toxic energy you may be bringing into the practice space. Take the time while you’re waiting for class to start or at the beginning of class as you’re getting settled in to set self-compassion as your intention. Create an intention to be kind to yourself on your mat, honor and accept your humanness, and remember you always possess the keys to keep your heart and mind happy and peaceful.
Śalabhāsana
Back-bending yoga postures don’t come very easily for me in my personal yoga practice. When I’m practicing on my own at home I tend to shy away from most of them, practicing the one that comes easiest to me the most. For that reason, I have to make a conscious effort to practice extending more compassion to myself when I practice them, catching my ANTs- automatic negative thoughts- and replacing them with ‘sweet nothings’. It’s a practice in and of itself.
Our pose of the month is Śalabhāsana, Locust Pose. Personally I haven’t always liked this pose, as it hasn’t always come easy to me and still doesn’t. However, now it is one of my favorite backbends. It’s a very powerful back-bending posture that helps to strengthen your inner core and back muscles, while also expanding the chest and opening the heart space. There is so much opportunity to create space here. Whether you like back-bending postures or not, allow yourself to create more space on your mat this month for self-compassion and love.
To practice Śalabhāsana at home, follow the alignment steps below.
*Self-Compassion Tip: Endurance here is more important than height. Find a position that you can hold for some duration, that you can maintain a steady, easy breath with, rather than trying to get as full and high into the pose as possible.
ALIGNMENT
Lie prone, arms along sides of body, palms facing down, forehead or chin resting on the mat.
Shoulders are externally rotated, shoulder blades retracting and descending.
Inhale and lift your head, upper torso, and arms away from the floor. Extend the arms and fingers back toward the feet. Contract the paraspinal muscles to lift torso.
Exhale and lift the legs and feet if you wish. Contract your glutes and hamstrings to lift legs. Maintain a slight internal rotation of both thighs, balanced by a slight external rotation at shins to keep legs aligned with toes pointing straight back.
Back of neck should be long and in line with spine, not over extended and/or looking up.
Take 3-5 breaths and then release with an exhalation.